What goes on

WHAT IS MEREDITH

Meredith is an independent music festival that has been running since 1991, near a town called Meredith in Victoria, Australia.

SUPERNATURAL AMPHITHEATRE [ top ]

See here.

CAMPING [ top ]

Nearly all patrons at the festival choose to camp. The alternative is leave the site and go home or to a hotel room in nearby towns Geelong or Ballarat, both of which are about a 45 minute drive.

There are three main camping grounds at the site, Bush Camp, Top Camp and South Pines. You can camp next to your car. There is a no-reserving policy – if you wish to camp with friends you need to arrive together, convoy-style.

Campers are welcome to set up camp wherever they choose within the campgrounds. Bush Camp tends to fill up first, closely followed by the edges of Top Camp that are closest to the amphitheatre. Some campsites are as close as 30 metres to the back of the amphitheatre and have views of the stage. Campers seeking more space, peace and solitude can get as far away as 600 metres from the action.

CINEMA – ECOPLEX [ top ]

FREAK FILM COMES TO THE BUSH - OUTLANDS ECOPLEX CINEMA
There is a Giant Outdoor Cinema at Meredith, in a magical grove of manna gums, with the natural canopy high overhead just sparse enough for the twinkling stars to shine through. What shows? That would be stuff that turned left at the lights, planted the foot and ripped the rear view mirror off, and then ate it.

It's called the Outlands Ecoplex Cinema, and it sits at the edge of Bush Camping, in the area known as "Africa". It consists of a large 6m x 6m screen purpose built between two ancient eucalypts, a six-speaker Super-Sonorama surround audio experience (which when coupled with Ultravision 3D effects and glasses REALLY puts you in the picture), and the action (or inaction) is projected by vintage 16mm gear out of a 1978 Jayco SuperTourer Caravan (with annex). IN OPTICALLY ENHANCED ULTRAVISION!!! Only ULTRAVISION with SUPER-SONORAMA provides you that "you-are-in-the-middle-of-it-all" effect... Accept no substitutes!

(not available in indoor hardtop - type cinemas - exclusive to the Meredith Ecoplex...)

The posse that run the Ecoplex say this: “We swim the sewers of cinema now-and-past, to salvage unfamiliar objects of wonder and delight. Join us at the Ecoplex as we celebrate both new and misremembered (and damn strange of course) instruments of celluloid enchantment... PLUS: (YES!) A WHOLE BUNCH ELSE!!!... the usual garbage sandwich of idiot cinema that only a Mother could love... Destroyed animation, anti-social children's television, wrong media at its very best & worst.”

The Ecoplex runs basically all night, and is designed so you can drop in for a short or long while at any time – many of the films shown are indeed shorts so you don't need to set your watch for the start of a feature.

Here's a small selection of what was unspoiled last season:

The Ottoman Empire Strikes Back
Throughout the 1980s, Turkish cinema spoke an international language of lunacy. Uniquely bogus & incomprehensible, this starry-eyed Turkish 'Star Wars' remake has been catapulted into a realm of abstract extremity: Luke Skywalker is a middle-aged dude in a blue nylon tracksuit. He keeps in shape by kicking explosive rocks around the backyard. Darth Vader looks like Osama bin Laden in a spikey cardboard helmet. YOU WILL SEE: zombified tots transformed into toiletpaper mummies... death-dealing kung foolery against a ravening horde of fuzzy red space-muppets... and all of it enhanced by a gratuitous "borrowing" of exploding planets, duelling spaceships, etc stolen from the Lucas flick and randomly chopped about...

Cooking with Chromosones, the K Kesey way
Far-Outward bound document of brain-melting japes & capers... A crew of wide-eyed pranksters take to the road for a cross-country reality-test, flipping wigs in the wake of their technicolour schoolbus. Make that Kool-aid a double, barkeep!

Lysergic & Labyrinthine
Vietnam vet & outsider animator of long repute, Bruce Bickford is most likely best known for his multiple collaborations with musician, Frank Zappa. Staring into the mind of this subterranean plasticine auteur provides a stunning visual delirium: compulsive, organic, grotesque, & casually violent...

THE MEREDITH EYE [ top ]

The Meredith Eye is a big hit.

It's a 60foot high Ferris Wheel, positioned right at the top of the amphitheatre, at the start of the Top Camp, near the Pink Flamingo. The views are quite, quite spectacular; from the top carriage you are able to see back in time, and find your wallet that you lost in Year 9. Yes, you can see the artists performing on the stage, and everything else for about forty miles.

Rides will be about 10 minutes long and we think we will be $4* a ride.

*Big game fishing is not included in the price.

THE MEREDITH GIFT [ top ]

THE ALL NEW CRUMPLER WORLD FAMOUS MEREDITH GIFT

With special guest Giftmistresses The Town Bikes

The world's stupidest foot race, The Meredith Gift will be held on the Sunday afternoon of the Festival. The winner will take home the coveted Golden Jocks, as well as a slab of cold beer, as well as one of several excellent prizes courtesy of the generous sponsor of The Meredith Gift, Crumpler Bag Company. Crumpler are based in Melbourne and are currently looking after the bagging needs of the progressive modern human being, in a number of countries around the world. The simple fact is their bags are unbeatably good.

Speaking of bags, the Meredith Gift is a completely nude sprint, of about 80 metres. See below on this page for The Rules. Anyone at the festival can enter (its free), as long as they are nude. It all started in 1992 when one of the bands was late to arrive on the Sunday. What do we do, we wondered. Have a race involving the patrons. Winner gets a cold slab. Some guy wandered to the front of the stage as this was being announced and asked what he would win if he did it in the nude. TWO slabs, of course. The following year the race was held again - as it was a talking point from the year before - and several people got nude, completely on their own accord. The year after we had to limit entry to only fully nude people, as there were so many people wanting to run. If you haven't seen a Meredith Gift, its pretty bloody funny. It can be a bit confronting and tragic too, buts mostly funny. There's always a crash, nude people tumbling along at speed, grass burns, injured penises, etc. You should watch some footage of previous Classic Gifts, which you can do by clicking here.

THIS YEAR - A HEAT AND A FINAL

This year there will be a heat involving all competitors. There will be 10 Crumpler Meredith Gift bags strewn across the track near the finish line. The 10 competitors who grab a bag then go through to The Final. The Final will be run immediately after The Heat, and will involve those ten successful bag-grabbers racing for The Golden Jocks as usual. Except they will be running whilst carrying/wearing the bag.

THE TOWN BIKES

The Marvellous Town Bikes are an institution in their role as Special Gift Mistresses; taking registrations, issuing instructions, marshalling the runners and most wonderfully firing the starters pistol. Believe me, you will do what they tell you.

REGISTER

All competitors must register this year, by going to the Big Tree near The Gift Shoppe at 2pm and signing an Indemnity Form, then getting a stencil sponged onto their torso. The Gift runs at about 3pm Sunday.

HERE ARE THE RULES OF THE GIFT:

- Anyone at the Festival can enter.

- ALL entrants must be nude or underpanted.

- Gaffer tape can be used to fix the underpants to the buttocks, to prevent riding. 'Wedgies' are always welcomed and often amusing.

- Any competitor wearing Lycra will be set on fire.

- Spectators must stand well behind the sidelines unless they want to trip someone over.

- Competitors may NOT drive their car instead of running.

Past winners include

The Two-Bearded Man, Trevor and three time Champ Richo The Plumber, and Jarrod Red Cap.

MEREDITH SKY SHOW [ top ]

Was a first-timer in 2007 and went real well. It will only happen when there's a show worth sky-ing. Plans for this season's Show are still on the drawing board. Might happen, but only if we dream right.

PINK FLAMINGO BAR [ top ]

The fabulous Pink Flamingo Bar will Glow Pink Allnite and serve cocktails within certain hours to certain people over 18 with certain photo ID and certain manners and clean and tidy presentation. This year we are banning the use of sarcasm in conversation and saying 'thanks' more than once to the bar staff, whilst we are encouraging impressions (especially those involving costume or props), haranguing and short skits. The Flamingo has enjoyed a makeover this year.

We advocate the responsible consumption of alcohol at all times at Meredith. If you are under 18, you won't be able to drink alcohol, or enter any licensed areas. Simple as that.

The Pink Flamingo is Meredith's cocktail bar. It sells two cocktails - the Pink Flamingo (vodka, pink grapefruit, some other stuff) and the Bloody Meredith (popular on Sunday - vodka, tomato juice, celery, two eggs, roast chicken and lemon meringue pie). The Pink Flamingo is for over 18's only. You will need to have photo ID which will get you a wristband which will get you in.

The Pink Flamingo Bar has changed hands yet again. It's a bit of a white elephant really! There's always some new wood-duck ready to blow their severance pay from Telstra on a 'cool' bar. (“no, but I've had a lot of experience on the other side of them...HAHAHAHAH”) Last year the main bar staff formed a co-operative and bought the leasehold, and the freehold. There were incredible stories of the whole team banding together and working nights and weekends to bring The Old Dame back to her former glory, stripping away years of bad renovations, and restoring superb architectural features like the parquetry dance floor, wrought iron circular staircase, and the marble portico. This idyllic, socialist working environment continued for weeks until a few minor squabbles about Brenda Ferguson's 'sore' leg escalated into yelling and slammed doors and dinners going cold and then it all turned to shit.

This year the Flamingo has been bought by Gisborne-based model train enthusiast Troy Chaplin. At this point we are unsure of his plans for the place, but there better not be anything that makes a “choo choo” noise or the power might get cut.

The Pink Flamingo's location is at the back of the amphitheatre, just next to the International Food Court, on the fringe of the Top Paddock. You can see the stage easily from the front garden of the Pink Flamingo.

Here's the history of The Pink Flamingo:

1998 first opened as The Pink Flamingo Yacht Club Bar, with hosts Commodore Bahamas Lite and Commodore Pink Jazz.

1999 The Pink Flamingo Ski Lodge, with hosts Heidi and Klaus, included their famous Alpine Friendliness TM.

2000 The Pink Flamingo RSL, with bingo and bowls, and a Meredith Gift Honour Board. Run by committee.

2001 The Pink Flamingo Speakeasy and Cinema. Some of the films really messed with some of the patrons minds.

2002 The Pink Flamingo Bar. Shady, quiet and comfortable. And pink.

2003 The Pink Flamingo Bar. Provincial quail nursery and Swedish tennis fan face painting station.

2004 The Pink Flamingo Bar and Health-giving Mud Baths. Got a bit muddy.

2005 The Pink Flamingo Bar and Grill. Sunny skies, flippin' burgers.

2006 Giant illuminated Flamingo erected at entrance. Old Flamingo decor retired. Flamingo Workers Collective installed as new owners. A Saturday Night fever party for the Saturday Night and a one-dayer on the telly Friday Night to bring in the punters. The PubTab re-opened.

2007 Workers Collective falls apart when after arguments about Brenda Ferguson's “sore” leg. However much restoration was achieved, and the Flamingo was almost listed asa World Heritage Site.

2008 Gisborne-based model train enthusiast Troy Chaplin completes takeover.

MASTER SONG'S TAI CHI MASTERCLASS [ top ]

Sunday morning at 9am the amphitheatre becomes a giant Tai Chi class. Patrons and workers alike down tools and enjoy a demonstration by world-renowned Tai Chi expert Master Jin Song Han. Master Song first graced the Meredith stage back in 2002, when we picked the first name out of the phone book under “Tai Chi” and gave him a call. Turned out he was the former National Coach of China. Yes, he should bring his ceremonial weapons and give a demonstration. Yes, playing his music would be possible. No, he didn't need to bring a tape player.

HEAVEN ELEVEN [ top ]

Heaven Eleven is a 24-hour general store on site, selling milk plus eggs plus bread plus vegetables, toothpaste and flavoured milk. Margarine, beauty crème, condoms, personal items, torches, tent pegs, small pharmaceutical remedies, outboard motors and militaria. But mainly lollies.

Not sure where it will be situated this year, will let you know.

BARS/BOTTLESHOP/BYO [ top ]

Like most festivals, Meredith has a bar, called The Pink Flamingo Bar. Unlike most festivals, Meredith does have a BYO policy, and a bottleshop as well.

The Bottleshop (technically a Canshop as no glass is permitted on site) is open at these times:

Friday: 6pm – 9pm
Saturday: 12noon-5pm
Sunday: closed

Patrons are able to BYO, as long as drinks are consumed responsibly and no glass containers of any kind are brought on site. Be aware that car searches do place at Reception upon entry to the festival and any glass is then confiscated without being replaced.

The festival strongly supports the responsible consumption of alcohol.

In order to gain access to the licensed areas patrons need to have photo ID with them. Showing valid photo ID will obtain the holder to an Over 18 Sticker (non-removable, non-transferable) which goes onto their wristband. These stickers are available at Heaven Eleven and at the entrance to the smaller bars.

FOOD [ top ]

Buy cheap food or bring your own (but no cooking permitted due to total fire ban).

INTERNATIONAL FOOD COURT

The International Food Court will be operating 24 hours a day at Meredith this year. There are all kinds of inexpensive healthy and unhealthy food available here, ranging from pizza to Asian delights to Hare Krishna vegetarian delights to baked potatoes to hot chips to bacon and egg breakfast rolls to simple and delicious corn on the cob. Food at Meredith is inexpensive and we only allow vendors who sell good food at good prices to grace the Food Court.

SOUTHBANK

Southbank is another cluster of foodstuff issuers positioned to the South of the stage, on the bank of the Amphitheatre, hence the name. hahahahaha. More exotic tastes can be catered for down there. Southbank is also home to the city's Chinese community, which settled there during the Gold Rush. You can rent a Cyclo (rickshaw) for as little as ten pesos and see all the major sights, including the Resurrection Shuffle. Women are advised to observe local cultural practices by only walking backwards and hopping every third step. Anyone with a beard may be imprisoned.

SUNSET STRIP [ top ]

Sunset Strip is located at the western tip of Top Camp. It's (derr) a strip from which you can view the Sunset. For those who don't live in the country or have regular access to immense, panoramic views of the sun setting without a building in view right through to the horizon, well, you get the picture. Sure, there's a couple of haysheds and in fact a deserted gold mine in the distance, but that's all. Someone once told me that looking at a setting sun somehow releases lithium into your system. Lithium is (or was) sometimes used as a medication to calm down people who were manic. Dunno if that's true or not. If you are some kind of medical expert, feel free to set me straight.

SPORTSFIELD [ top ]

Will be in operation this year. It's free, get bats and balls from the Info Centre. SportsField is comprised of dozens of totem tennis sets and a few badminton courts. There is no white water rafting on the SportsField.

INSPIRATION POINT [ top ]

Becoming Meredith's best-kept secret, if a secret is something you can become. Inspiration Point is a rock garden just beyond the fringe of Southbank. It's nice there.

INFO CENTRE [ top ]

Think of the Info Centre as the Concierge Desk of the festival. Our well-trained staff are there to answer any question, and ask a few of their own. This font of all knowledge is of course open 24 hours.

FIRST AID [ top ]

The festival has an excellent medical facility on-site again operating 24 hours. It is located to the far right of the amphitheatre as you look at the stage.

RECEPTION [ top ]

Reception is the place you check-in to the festival at. The festival's Head Receptionist Chrisso has been running that facility for nearly ten years (the fool) and in that time has checked in over 100,000 quite excited people. Reception is the place where your ticket (wristband) is scanned on entry, you are handed your free Owners Manual event handbook, given some colour-coded recycling garbage bags, told The Rules and wished a Happy Meredith.

TOILETS [ top ]

The toilets at the Meredith Supernatural Amphitheatre are widely regarded as some the finest festival toilets on the planet, and since their installation in 2006-7 have been a talking point and indeed a highlight of the festivals. There are currently about a hundred of these private, waterless, odorless composting beauties on site, built permanently into two separate areas either side of the Amphitheatre. They are user-friend-ly and enviro-lover-ly; private, clean, and waterless; with no pumping or transport required. Plus, about twelve months after operate, with some sophisticated but simple treatment they create perfectly safe compost to use on the site. WINNER!! Our thanks also to Natural Event.

SHOWERS [ top ]

Uncle Doug and Stu the Groundskeeper have built a permanent, excellent shower facility. In fact they have built two. One is next to the Pink Flamingo (on the Bush Camp side) and the other is on the other side of the Amphi, right up the back. They are completely private, sheltered, eco-friendly installations, and provide steaming hot water (or cold if its hot) from lo-flo yet good pressure shower heads. The shower facility is brand new and clean as a whistle and has many terrific and user-friendl;y features. It is open 24 hours a day, and costs $1 per minute to use. Our attendants will be on hand to provide coin change for you and biodegradable soaps and shampoos which help the waste water re-enter the Earth with a minimum of fuss.

DICKHEAD POLICY [ top ]